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Awake and Not

03.52

I am awake since two and a half hours ago, and now can’t back to sleep.

I am typing all these words just to try to erase my memories of you from my head. Oh yeah, I wish so.

Looks like I have to be numb to be able to move on. Being ignorance to the unnecessary in my life.

Waiting for the next 18 hours to sleep through the night and morning without work and a long 3 days weekend.

Fernweh … wie gefährlich bist du.

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Love Me Harder

Tell me something I need to know
Then take my breath and never let it go
If you just let me invade your space
I’ll take the pleasure, take it with the pain

And if in the moment I bite my lip
Baby, in the moment, you’ll know this is
Something bigger than us and beyond bliss
Give me a reason to believe it

Cause if you want to keep me, you gotta gotta gotta gotta got to love me harder
And if you really need me, you gotta gotta gotta gotta got to love me harder
Gotta love me harder
Love me, love me, love me
Harder, harder, harder

I know your motives and you know mine
The ones that love me, I tend to leave behind
If you know about me and choose to stay
Then take this pleasure and take it with the pain

And if in the moment you bite your lip
When I get you moaning you know it’s real
Can you feel the pressure between your hips?
I’ll make it feel like the first time

Cause if you want to keep me
You gotta gotta gotta gotta got to love me harder
(Imma love you harder)
And if you really need me
You gotta gotta gotta gotta got to love me harder
(Love me harder)
Love me, love me, love me
Harder, harder, harder
Love me, love me, love me
Harder, harder, harder

So what would I do if I can’t figure it out?
You got to try, try, try again
So what would I do if I can’t figure it out?
I’m gonna leave, leave, leave again

Cause if you want to keep me
You gotta gotta gotta gotta got to love me harder
(Imma love you, love you, love you)
And if you really need me
You gotta gotta gotta gotta got to love me harder
(Love me, love me, baby)
Cause if you want to keep me
You gotta gotta gotta gotta got to love me harder
(Love me harder)
And if you really need me
You gotta gotta gotta gotta got to love me harder
(Imma love you harder)
Love me, love me, love me
Harder, harder, harder
(love me, love me, baby)
Love me, love me, love me
(just a little bit, just a little bit harder, babe)
Harder, harder, harder

 

Ariana Grande feat. The Weeknd

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Song List from Lately

Lately I heard these songs. If I can, anywhere and anytime. Let’s see the songs.

  1. Empire of The Sun – We Are The People.
  2. Tensnake – In The End of The Day I Want You (Original Mix).
  3. Heaven 17 – Fascist Groove Thang.
  4. Jason Mraz – Love Someone.
  5. One Republic – Ordinary People.
  6. Adele – You’ll Never See Me Again.
  7. Beyonce – Lights.
  8. Siren – I Think I Like You.
  9. School – Solong.
  10. Sam Sure – Hunger.
  11. Mary Jane Cole & Gaps – In Dark, In Day (Instrumental).
  12. London Grammar – Hey Now.
  13. Clean Bandit – Rather Be.
  14. Emancipator – Soon It Will Be Cold Enough To Build Fires.

 

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Yours?

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Amazing Things Happened Sooner or Later After You Wish, Hope and Pray For It

It`s been a while, since the last time I write back in my page.

Hey! I got a greeting from WordPress for being here in these 2 years. Great! It makes me want to write more often.

Well, what will I share to you all now? I don`t know where to start and what to share.

In one side it is getting better and I am very thankful to my creator. But in other side it is still xoxo. I miss my family, but I have to start a new phase in my life and focus on it since the end of last March. This time I don`t want and try not to waste the chance that been given to me. This is the one that I want as occupation and I am enjoying it. Everything.

The greatest thing that happened to me lately is that I am going to be that close to my dreams. Years ago I wondered, when can I stand on the top of Mount Bromo in East Java province and see with my own eyes the famous Blue Fire of Mount Ijen. Every time I saw someone`s photo with Mount Bromo or Ijen, I always feel envy for them and in my mind I just can asking to God, “Dear God, when is my turn to go there? When can I stand on the top of those mountains? When can I take photos of those world famous places?” It looks like that God heard my prayers all these years.

So, I am assigned to join educational trip from my office and for the first year I got chosen to join the trip to Java over land. I can`t wait until end of October to make it happen. With 5 other colleagues from the office and 3 Hollanders will through this trip. The trip will start in Yogyakarta and heading to Borobudur Temple, continue to go back to Yogyakarta, with train heading to Mount Bromo, by car through East Java plantation to Mount Ijen and at the end crossing Java Strait to Bali. It`s going to be a week of over land trip. And my task before the trip is only to press my weight a few kilos lower and stay fit, because hike 2 mountains in a week is going to be difficult enough, if my body not fit, since I have problem with my left knee. Hopefully it`ll work out until the day we leave Bali heading to Java. This hiking is the first, since my last hiking back in exactly 10 years ago. Wow! The last hiking was to Mount Sinabung near to my hometown and exploded a couple years ago. Somehow I am grateful that I have hiked a volcano and now it`s awake after 400 years sleeping.

Amanusa and Me.
Amanusa and Me.

Another bless was two weeks ago, finally I can visit the luxury houses in southern Bali. The houses are Keraton Jimbaran, Belmond Jimbaran Puri Bali, The Melia, Nusa Dua Beach Hotel, the famous Amanusa and St. Regis. Maybe it sounds a little too much, but for me it`s like a great thing and also as a wish that came true, because I can see those houses with my own eyes from the inside. It was awesome! If I don`t work in this field, I think I can never enter these houses.

We met new colleagues and new people. I even had a little funny chat with a staff from St. Regis that born as Russian-German. Somehow I know that she`s not from English speaking country or English as her mother language. Amazing! She worked for 4 years in Maldives and it was like a common new friend chat. It was not like official working conversation. What I can remember that she was very nice. Too bad that our pick-up has came and we had to go as soon as possible to Jimbaran beach for seafood dinner on the beach with our colleagues from Thailand.

What amazing things happened to me lately…. Thank You.

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After Years

 

It supposed to be a quick shopping in a supermarket. But, somehow turned to wrong shopping. I supposed to buy a rack to put my kitchen plates. But after saw this colourful pens, an idea popped up! So, I bought a drawing book and those pens. And, this is my first sketch after years not sketching nor drawing. Old hobby. Miss it so much. The last time I sketched, was in high school. About 16 years ago. 😀 Damn long time ago!

New sketch

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Humble

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Years ago, I was like these women. Brooming my house’s yard. Back, front and sides. I was grumpy for twice or three times a week. It was like a punishment because of being naughty. But, nope. It was to train me to take care of my surrounding. My house. Myself. My family. Be humble. Be helpful. Be thankful.

What annoying days. Still. 😀

This photo is reversed. Fyi.

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Such a heavenly view ….

Once I read that the sunrise in this beach is one of the most amazing sunrise on earth. The colors (sometimes purple, red, orange, bright yellow, blue or the mix of it all), the view, the landscape, the atmosphere … just right. At that time I thought he was … too much. Until I saw it myself. He was right. Each sunrise gives unique feeling to its adorer. It’s worth to wake at 5 AM, walk about 15 minutes to the beach and witnessed this precious sunrise. It’s true. It’s such a heavenly view. Just like Coldplay said.

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Clash

I can hold my breath I can bite my tongue I can stay awake for days If that's what you want Be your number one I can fake a smile I can force a laugh I can dance and play the part If that's what you ask Give you all I am I can do it I can do it I can do it But I'm only human And I bleed when I fall down I'm only human And I crash and I break down Your words in my head, knives in my heart You build me up and then I fall apart 'Cause I'm only human I can turn it on Be a good machine I can hold the weight of worlds If that's what you need Be your everything I can do it I can do it I'll get through it But I'm only human And I bleed when I fall down I'm only human And I crash and I break down Your words in my head, knives in my heart You build me up and then I fall apart 'Cause I'm only human I'm only human I'm only human Just a little human I can take so much 'Til I've had enough 'Cause I'm only human And I bleed when I fall down I'm only human And I crash and I break down Your words in my head, knives in my heart You build me up and then I fall apart 'Cause I'm only human
I can hold my breath
I can bite my tongue
I can stay awake for days
If that’s what you want
Be your number one
I can fake a smile
I can force a laugh
I can dance and play the part
If that’s what you ask
Give you all I am
I can do it
I can do it
I can do it
But I’m only human
And I bleed when I fall down
I’m only human
And I crash and I break down
Your words in my head, knives in my heart
You build me up and then I fall apart
‚Cause I’m only human
I can turn it on
Be a good machine
I can hold the weight of worlds
If that’s what you need
Be your everything
I can do it
I can do it
I’ll get through it
But I’m only human
And I bleed when I fall down
I’m only human
And I crash and I break down
Your words in my head, knives in my heart
You build me up and then I fall apart
‚Cause I’m only human
I’m only human
I’m only human
Just a little human
I can take so much
‚Til I’ve had enough
‚Cause I’m only human
And I bleed when I fall down
I’m only human
And I crash and I break down
Your words in my head, knives in my heart
You build me up and then I fall apart
‚Cause I’m only human