Am I Really In Paradise?

“Sometimes the reality not as beautiful or as perfect as we thought, hoped, wished or we ever dreamt of.  The only thing we can do is to build the paradise of our own, or just leave the not – paradise which you already seen. The choice is yours. “

I came to Bali almost 6 months ago. With one single hope for a better future in my hand I dared myself to come here. Maybe sounds weird but Bali is a place, which I don´t want to put my footsteps on it ever. But, here I am. Until today I still hold that hope. Sometimes I doubted myself. Have I made the right decision for my life or it´s just simply an ego of a still quite young soul to live alone without any intervention for every single decision I´ll take neither from family nor friends?

First month, it was hard even since the first day. After my arrival in Ngurah Rai International Airport I went to McDonalds to have a bite of spicy chicken wrap and a small coke. That was all. As I never thought it might happen, well it happened to me. The not so friendly and intolerant waitress trying to show her best service to foreigner tourists behind me while I was right in front of her. This kind of act tickled me everywhere I go. This not good attitude waitress honestly irritated my soul. I was not angry and nicely said to her in British English accent and also a very straight face, “Could you please give me one chicken wrap and one small coke right away? It´s like half an hour I have waited in line.”  She did what I asked with a red face. What a day I had.

Hmmm. One not good point already showed up in this “Paradise Island”. Hoping not get any in days ahead. I thought.

Am I still in culture shock in my own country? I got back from Denmark on last March. If it was true, then I really hope not for a long time. But hey, it happened. Holy God! Sometimes I got angry and sometimes not. Inhale and exhale is the only thing I can do right away. If not, then I´m going to stuck in this situation for a life time.


Then I met this new friend, thegoddesblog from München in October, whom wants to stay in Bali for a year or so to do her writing.

On the first time we met in a beach in Sanur, she said to me about something different from what the world knows about Bali. “Anstrengend” she said about what she saw in Northern part of the island. Even just that one word already described many things about the reality in this well known island. Many poor people living in the North and many of travel agency wouldn´t show that area to the tourists forever, maybe. Well, quite understood if they don´t want to show this area. Which country wants to show to the world about the not-so-good-to-see part of their country? None, I guess. Me? One day I want to travel there and see what she told me with my own eyes. I think that would be enough.

Sometimes I wonder why people named Bali as Paradise isle, which no Paradise on earth for sure. Have they visited the afterlife once so they called Bali as Paradise isle? For me, it is just too much. Hey, it is not funny at all if you see a bagger on the street and you pass on them by just like that with eyes and ears shut. Sometimes a little help means something to them. Sometimes a little money or even a piece of bread can save the day.


“Hey! Where are you now?  What? In Bali?  Working? How great! I wish I can go there and do the same thing as you did….”

Many of friends said that to me after they found out that I live in Bali since 5 months ago. For a lot of people in Indonesia it is a wow thing if they can visit Bali or work in Bali. Even for Indonesian it is a dream for each of them to visit Bali and spend days for a vacation in this island.

I have to admit it. It is always interesting to be somewhere we´ve never been there before. But, do they know well about the reality of living on an island with the most tourist visits all year long? Well, I am gladly to tell them that Bali is on the first place of the most expensive place to live in Indonesia. I mean overall. I lived for almost 5 months in Jayapura, Papua and it was also an expensive place.

For food it´s okay, I supposed, because many Warung around the corner. What kind of food you want, I´m sure everyone can find it. European, Asian, American I think quite easy to find by phone or just googling. For a room to stay also quite expensive, even for foreigner. Well, actually depends on how much money you have in your porte monnaie. Don´t push it to the limit would be my best suggestion. Absolutely I point it first also to myself before to others.


Montag Morgen. Ich hab die Tür hinten geöffnet und ... Guten Morgen, Agung! Ach ... wie schön die Welt, oder? Mindestens hier :)

This small Island is really something to me. Many photos that have been taken for years from many photographers around the globe really make me stunned. Always and always is the sunset I loved the most. Can you imagine, if say I can see the sunrise sky in Sanur from my back door and the purple-red-orange sunset sky in Kuta from my

balcony in the front door on the second floor? That is an expensive view; friends of mine said that often. One said, “No wonder you still don´t want to move from this quite high cost room. The view is beautiful to watch every day.”

Yes. There is always small thing I am thankful for every day. Even sometimes friends disappointed me. I live alone and no partner, but it does not kill me, hopefully. Hahaha. The work made me exhausted and like it or not often have to carry the weight to home. Hey, I still have shelter to cover me from the heat of the sun and the rain. I still can eat enough and well every day. I still can have a piece of bread with butter and chocolate pastes and zip a hot black tea every morning. I have my mom and family to call each time I miss them. I have friends to talk to whenever I feel lonely or just to hang out in the weekend. And the most important is I am still breathing and healthy. That is all. Any other things will follow, sooner or later. I am sure of it!

Oh yes, I will make my own paradise. Let´s make our own paradise every day. I will try as best as I could. Life is not that bad at all, right? 🙂