Huhuhu…. Plötzlich habe sehr grosse Interesse nochmal auf Deutsch zu reden und suche das Wort „Aufnahme“ aber nicht da! 😦 Mann!
… not just Kuta, Nusa Dua, Ubud, Denpasar, Sanur, Legian, Seminyak, Amed, Uluwatu, Jimbaran, Lovina, Kintamani, Bedugul. There are also beautiful places such as Palasari and Sanda. So, explore the island more. Find more.
Makes me want to write about „my teachers“. 🙂 Thank you for sharing.
Dear Young Teacher Down the Hall,
I saw you as you rushed past me in the lunch room. Urgent. In a hurry to catch a bite before the final bell would ring calling all the students back inside. I noticed that your eyes showed tension. There were faint creases in your forehead. And I asked you how your day was going and you sighed.
„Oh, fine,“ you replied.
But I knew it was anything but fine. I noticed that the stress was getting to you. I could tell that the pressure was rising. And I looked at you and made an intentional decision to stop you right then and there. To ask you how things were really going. Was it that I saw in you a glimpse of myself that made me take the moment?
You told me how busy you were, how much there was to do…
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There are three aspects of my identity that really can’t be untangled from each other:
I am a queer woman.
I am a feminist.
And I believe that there is no god but Allah, and that Muhammad is Allah’s messenger.
Yeah, it’s the third one that usually gets the record-scratch reaction.
I was raised Muslim, but in my teens, I became severely disillusioned with the faith. Having finished reading the Qur’an in English for the first time, I started to fully appreciate just how easy it was for people to twist and re-interpret the book to serve their own needs. I realised my father had been doing that to me for years, with his rules that he swore came „from God“ and his restrictions on my behaviour that were all part of me being a good Muslim girl. Cover yourself so men don’t…
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Sinabung In Our Memory July 2004.
Have you ever felt like you just know that something will happen?
I felt it and it happens. Now I am scare to death to myself.
It is not Sinabung scares us in Indonesia, but the other super volcano near Sinabung, Toba volcano.
That morning I was standing on the edge of that volcano (the backside on the photo), watching my friends taking pictures down inside the crater, and thinking to myself, what if … this volcano … under my feet … erupt? And … it happens. I am speechless. It was not a wish. Just a random thought.
“Sometimes the reality not as beautiful or as perfect as we thought, hoped, wished or we ever dreamt of. The only thing we can do is to build the paradise of our own, or just leave the not – paradise which you already seen. The choice is yours. “
I came to Bali almost 6 months ago. With one single hope for a better future in my hand I dared myself to come here. Maybe sounds weird but Bali is a place, which I don´t want to put my footsteps on it ever. But, here I am. Until today I still hold that hope. Sometimes I doubted myself. Have I made the right decision for my life or it´s just simply an ego of a still quite young soul to live alone without any intervention for every single decision I´ll take neither from family nor friends?
First month, it was hard even since the first day. After my arrival in Ngurah Rai International Airport I went to McDonalds to have a bite of spicy chicken wrap and a small coke. That was all. As I never thought it might happen, well it happened to me. The not so friendly and intolerant waitress trying to show her best service to foreigner tourists behind me while I was right in front of her. This kind of act tickled me everywhere I go. This not good attitude waitress honestly irritated my soul. I was not angry and nicely said to her in British English accent and also a very straight face, “Could you please give me one chicken wrap and one small coke right away? It´s like half an hour I have waited in line.” She did what I asked with a red face. What a day I had.
Hmmm. One not good point already showed up in this “Paradise Island”. Hoping not get any in days ahead. I thought.
Am I still in culture shock in my own country? I got back from Denmark on last March. If it was true, then I really hope not for a long time. But hey, it happened. Holy God! Sometimes I got angry and sometimes not. Inhale and exhale is the only thing I can do right away. If not, then I´m going to stuck in this situation for a life time.
Then I met this new friend, thegoddesblog from München in October, whom wants to stay in Bali for a year or so to do her writing.
On the first time we met in a beach in Sanur, she said to me about something different from what the world knows about Bali. “Anstrengend” she said about what she saw in Northern part of the island. Even just that one word already described many things about the reality in this well known island. Many poor people living in the North and many of travel agency wouldn´t show that area to the tourists forever, maybe. Well, quite understood if they don´t want to show this area. Which country wants to show to the world about the not-so-good-to-see part of their country? None, I guess. Me? One day I want to travel there and see what she told me with my own eyes. I think that would be enough.
Sometimes I wonder why people named Bali as Paradise isle, which no Paradise on earth for sure. Have they visited the afterlife once so they called Bali as Paradise isle? For me, it is just too much. Hey, it is not funny at all if you see a bagger on the street and you pass on them by just like that with eyes and ears shut. Sometimes a little help means something to them. Sometimes a little money or even a piece of bread can save the day.
“Hey! Where are you now? What? In Bali? Working? How great! I wish I can go there and do the same thing as you did….”
Many of friends said that to me after they found out that I live in Bali since 5 months ago. For a lot of people in Indonesia it is a wow thing if they can visit Bali or work in Bali. Even for Indonesian it is a dream for each of them to visit Bali and spend days for a vacation in this island.
I have to admit it. It is always interesting to be somewhere we´ve never been there before. But, do they know well about the reality of living on an island with the most tourist visits all year long? Well, I am gladly to tell them that Bali is on the first place of the most expensive place to live in Indonesia. I mean overall. I lived for almost 5 months in Jayapura, Papua and it was also an expensive place.
For food it´s okay, I supposed, because many Warung around the corner. What kind of food you want, I´m sure everyone can find it. European, Asian, American I think quite easy to find by phone or just googling. For a room to stay also quite expensive, even for foreigner. Well, actually depends on how much money you have in your porte monnaie. Don´t push it to the limit would be my best suggestion. Absolutely I point it first also to myself before to others.
This small Island is really something to me. Many photos that have been taken for years from many photographers around the globe really make me stunned. Always and always is the sunset I loved the most. Can you imagine, if say I can see the sunrise sky in Sanur from my back door and the purple-red-orange sunset sky in Kuta from my
balcony in the front door on the second floor? That is an expensive view; friends of mine said that often. One said, “No wonder you still don´t want to move from this quite high cost room. The view is beautiful to watch every day.”
Yes. There is always small thing I am thankful for every day. Even sometimes friends disappointed me. I live alone and no partner, but it does not kill me, hopefully. Hahaha. The work made me exhausted and like it or not often have to carry the weight to home. Hey, I still have shelter to cover me from the heat of the sun and the rain. I still can eat enough and well every day. I still can have a piece of bread with butter and chocolate pastes and zip a hot black tea every morning. I have my mom and family to call each time I miss them. I have friends to talk to whenever I feel lonely or just to hang out in the weekend. And the most important is I am still breathing and healthy. That is all. Any other things will follow, sooner or later. I am sure of it!
Oh yes, I will make my own paradise. Let´s make our own paradise every day. I will try as best as I could. Life is not that bad at all, right? 🙂
6. January 2014
Today is the first Monday of the year. One thing I know for sure right now is that I am jobless. Hahaha. Hopefully, it will change soon.
Really, I need a booster right now. Someone or something, somehow.
Well, let´s start the day with something good, such as a mug of hot chocolate for breakfast? It would be great for something to be thanked, right? Or, you want to have a cup of tea or coffee? Or even a cup of dairy milk? Plus a piece of Pretzel to full your stomach? Go ahead.
Yes, I feel so thankful that I still can zip hot chocolate this morning. Last night I can sleep well on my bed and dreaming something, which I don´t really remember what it was. How did I know that I slept well last night? Because, I dreamt something.
Maybe, we have heard so many times people said, be thankful of what you already have in your hand. It is true. I see it back in my past. What I got. What I have reached. What I loose. What I try to keep. And, what I have to try to let go. Letting go is never easy to do willingly.
And, it is enough with that all.
Now, I want to start to write again. Not for something big to talk about but something small and simple but meaningful in my daily life.
Let´s start with:
1. How thankful I am that my neighbor lend me his mountain bike to ride somewhere in Sanur area.
2. How happy I was in the New Year´s evening I have a visit. Suddenly, my brother came along from Medan to Sanur. 3 years I haven´t seen him and his changed a lot. Especially in his face.
3. How glad I was that I spent New Year´s evening, since I didn´t have any plan in that night. Well, actually I planned just to sleep and spend the night just for me and myself, which didn´t successful.
4. How happy I was standing under midnight rain. The rain poured down from the night sky just like a bucket of water that somehow fall on to your head and make you wet inside out. It was funny and tired night to have. First time in my life.
5. How happy I was that I wasn´t alone spending that night. Last year´s end I spent it alone in minus degree night in Denmark. How miserable life I have had that night, but also very happy because of the vacation to the North Pole on Christmas and hug Santa Claus in his village in Rovaniemi. Lol. Life. Life. Life. Oh, life.
6. How thankful I was to know the truth but also quite sad to know that a friend I trusted was my true enemy all these months. Now, I cut her out from my fiend list and that´s it.
7. How thankful I am to have this new friend from München. Hopefully, we can meet again soon.
8. How thankful I am that I still have my mom calling me anytime she wants. Lol again. Even though it´s quite annoying sometimes.
9. How thankful I am that I still can see the sunset sky from my front door on this second floor. It´s true. The sunset view in Bali has magic and stunning view.
10. And, hope not the last thing to be thankful for this year is, I still can write.
Talking about New Year is only hope and resolves that I can think of. I have many wishes and hopes for this year. But, I don´t know which one may come true or not. Let´s see what might happen.
They´re staring at me …
Yes. Their eyes staring at me. Often. On the streets.
Why? What´s wrong?
Weeks I did not know why.
Until couple weeks ago I started to notice.
I look at myself on the mirror.
Yes. My skin color.
It´s getting more brown…
More than theirs.
From pale to exotic, colleagues said.
Stimmt! Kein Facebook in China.
Ich habe meiner Arbeitskollegin aus Vietnam gefragt, „Hey, stimmt´s, dass niemand Facebook in China erlaubt zu verwenden?“. Dann hat sie gesagt, „Ja, seit langen Jahren. Du kannst auch direkt an unseren Arbeitskollege in China, der Ferdinand, fragen. So weit ich weiss, unsere Arbeitskollegen dort kein Facebook-Konto haben. Schade…“.
„Wieso? Sie möchten kein Facebook-Konto haben oder wegen etwas anderes?“, fragte ich. „Nein, wegen Politiksproblem zwischen China und die USA Regierung. Viele Leute aus USA haben so viele schlechte Eindrücke über China in Facebook.“
„O je!“. Tja, man muss nicht unbedingt ein Facebook-Konto haben. Ich habe auch mein Konto vor 3 Monaten deaktiviert. Mir ist ja Facebook jetzt nicht so wichtig. Ich habe ein Konto, um nur alte Freunde zu melden. Aber, muss ich sagen, dass Facebook auch Vorteile und Nachteile hat. Es kommt immer drauf an. Warum verwendet man Facebook und wozu? Jetzt ist mir genug mit Facebook. Vielleicht reaktiviere ich nochmal nächstes Jahr. Aber, vielleicht mache ich auch nie.
„Don´t worry, dear Dwi. People come and go for a reason. People come and go for a season.”
That´s what a friend´s comment on my twit a few days ago. Yes. I am sad, because my neighbor move to Vietnam tomorrow. I mean my co-worker. Her time is over in my office. She´ll fly tomorrow morning to her hometown. I never knew that I am going to miss her this much. “Das Kleinchen” nenne ich sie. O je! Miss her already. I won´t see my little guide again in a long time. I won´t see someone, whom I can ask for help, someone I can tease every time I want. Someone I can greets “Morgen!” every day. But, she promise me, she´ll be back next year and travel to Raja Ampat with me. I feel glad to hear that.
She´s just like my own sister and I am the big sister. Well, she is smaller than me and I didn´t realized that I always act like a big sister to her. Until one of the co-worker today said, “Oh my God! You´re sounds like her mother now! You know a lot what she like and don´t like.” OMG! I didn´t realized that. But she is. In two months I know a lot of things about her. What she liked to eat and to do. She liked to eat a lot of fried mushrooms with cheese and tomato sauce upon it. She don´t like vegetables and fruits, but still eat some of it. And a lot more about her.
Well, I hope we can meet each other again next year. I wish.