Surat Untuk Hatimu

Pada akhirnya kabar itu akan sampai juga ke telingaku. Meskipun aku berusaha menutup hati dan telingaku untuk mendengarnya. Meskipun pernah ku dengar bibirmu sendiri mengatakan, bahwa kau tidak yakin padanya. *I don’t want to hear it!* … Long time no see, not hearing anything from you, finally a friend said that you will marry, soon. Hard to say that i’m happy for you, too. But, it looks like that i have to hear for the third times, someone i adore is going to get married. Great, huh?

You know, you’ve asked me 3 times, why do i have to go so far. Actually i want to say the truth, but my lips just couldn’t say anything. Even to see your face made me sad. So, i was just smile to you. Did you ever realized, why i have to leave? Because i don’t want to see you with her, ever. Well, i was still sane enough not to ruin your relationship. I just know, all these things will happen soon or later, like it or not, because something deep in my heart said so. The last night we met, i want to tell you, tapi … ya sudahlah. You do know my feeling for you. Remember when i was joking and asked you to borrow a destiny’s line on your hand palm? Then you said, sorry, but that line already belong to someone…

A decade. Wow! Even my closest friend didn’t believe, that i had this feeling since ten years ago and there is nothing i can do but keep it. She thought, i had crush to the other boy at school that time.

Pak Mario bilang, setiap manusia sudah seharusnya menghadapi kekecewaan dalam hidup, supaya tahu, bahwa hidup itu gak cuma datar saja dan kemudian merasa bosan. Absolutely right. Mario said, „So we’ll crawl, til we can walk again. Then we’ll run, until we strong enough to jump. Then we’ll fly, until there is no air…“

A great man in my life told me once, in a day we can have 4 seasons. Winter, summer, autumn and then come spring, all over again. Every kind of feelings. Happy, sadness, anger and so on. You mention it. One of many things he said to me, i remember this, „Don’t ever try to fool yourself and try to minimalize your feelings, because you are human. We should be grateful to have feelings.“ … Well, maybe i’m sad and down, but … i don’t think, i’m going to get angry with all this, for all this.

Life is always changing and will find the way to it’s destiny.

Liebste Irna, Istikharah …? Vielen Dank, Schwesta! 🙂 Das ist sehr nett und ehrlich von dir. InsyaAllah ya, Na‘ 🙂 Si Nenek mah mulai pikun :)) Nuhun pisan, neng.

Ps: Dini Nst, Retno Sigit, E Margareth Banjarnahor, Irna Nurfauzyah, Judea Frans Samosir, Remon Fredik … miss you all and wanna HUG and SMOOCH you all 🙂 You all know, how stubborn i am ;p Let’s pray, my heart wouldn’t be more frozen than before :)) Thank you so much. Eventhough we are so far away from one each other on earth, i will always love you all and stay close wherever you will go. Well … actually we are not that far, right? :)) Now we have facebook, e-mails, yahoo messenger, and .. what else? Name it! 🙂 Luv u all! … Yeay! Weekend is coming! Always luv weekend! You all too, right?

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